American Entropy: Definitely not an NRA Member here:

NERDODAMUS:

As many know, the man was born the son of poor, but honest parents. Born in the backseat of an El Camino rolling down US 1 and conceived in a pink Gremlin that was likely parked at the time, he spent most of his childhood in the area between periods of traveling and hustling with Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves trying not to swallow too many marbles.

Upon graduating, he found himself attending the Doug Henning Alternative College in Mission Viejo, Calfornia majoring in Metaphysical Virology with a minor in Alternative Clinical Fecology. After six months, Ph.D in hand, He, like many others in the area at the time, fell for and was briefly married to Dr. Beverly DiAngelis. Much to his chagrin, they could not make love work. That was in the days before the realization that he was from Mars and she was from Venus. He personally felt she got the wrong end of the deal considering the temperature on Venus is much hotter and we all know, it is easier to warm up then keep cool.

Following the divorce, He decided on a career change. He enlisted in the United States Navy but alas, like his marriage, it was a short tenure. He was dishonorably discharged for defecating off the edge of the frigate this tramp at times called home. They attributed it to the “upbringing” but gave no quarter when dismissing him.

As a child and teenager, He showed a keen penchant for music. Looking for a path to further self-discovery, he became involved in music again forming the famous hybrid-fusion group “Booger.” Booger was born from many influences combining elements of spoken word, ska, 70′s gospel, and death metal.

Booger spent many a night touring the chowder circuit performing with, and opening for great musicians including Gary Glitter, Andy Kim, Gilbert O’Sullivan, and Petra. But – it was a supergroup – and you know what happens when egos clash. Their last gig was performed at the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas on December 8th, 1997. This legendary performance was hailed by critics and was compared to the famous rooftop concert by the Beatles (as featured in the 1970 documentary “Let it Be.”)

While a full-time musician, he developed quite a social conscious. It began to show in those pointed, cutting-edge lyrics. The lyrics would have a profound effect on many people and would be frequently quoted in writings by many social activists including Mumia Abu-Jamaal, Noam Chomsky, and Phyllis Schlafley. This charged energy further evolved into politcal activism. He spent the last years of the 20th century lobbying Congress and the Clinton Administration for causes including fighting for the release and pardon of Brian Peppers and helping Peter Manjammer win the right to legally change his name. Although there were many successes, there were also times when, despite his most herculean efforts, he was unable to institute positive change such as failure to get legislation passed putting warning labels on marital aids. He had fought the good fight.

With the turn of the millennium, he retreated back to his rural roots and acquired a piece of land in Central North Carolina. It was here where he found his true calling: Pontificating on the obvious.