The Proclamations and Predictions of Nerdodamus

The Republicans taking a trick from their ’94 playbook (and being successful) was so obvious that even Nerdodamus saw it pointless to predict – especially since Obama used a lot of Clinton staffers. no armchair Monday-morning quarterbacking from these guys.

Is it safe to say that 2011 will be much like 1995? Most likely – in the realm of cyclical politics. Pop Culture may yield some surprises though. Here are my predictions for 2011:

(Yes, I know these are softballs but remember who I am!)

1.) Government Shutdown over Political infighting regarding the budget.

2.) Scott Brown is heavily criticized as a RINO because he does not toe the party line.

3.) Hilary Clinton side-steps here claim she is not going to challenge Obama in 2012.

4.) Christine O’Donnell is indicted for misuse of campaign funds since she cannot be indicted for sole stupidity alone.

5.) 3 more States make Marijuana legal for Medicinal purposes.

6.) One state will officially go bankrupt.

7.) Member of Congress gets put on terrorist watch list.

8.) Another Republican Congressman gets caught in a gay scandal.

9.) The Quaid’s get what they really wanted – a reality show – claim whole stunt was “performance art.”

10.) Octomom runs out of options – does soft-core porn.

11.) A Gosselin is kept in the news solely because they get in trouble with the law.

12.) In-fighting begins at Fox news between O’Reilly, Hannity, and Beck over self-promotion, jealousy, and the fact that one of these guys will begin leaning over into the White nationalist realm a little too much.

13.) Jim Carrey, in an effort to rebuild his career lashes out at Jenny McCarthy for bringing him into her Pseudo-science circle. it is revealed this and her association with quacks brought down the relationship.

The Deteriorata

nerdodamus — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 22:32:54 +0000

Sorry, Desiderata fans – I could not resist. I first heard this listening to tapes of the National Lampoon Radio Hour:

Specifically, it is a spoof of San Francisco radio and television personality Les Crane’s spoken word recording of Desiderata. It was written by Tony Hendra and recorded by National Lampoon as part of their National Lampoon Radio Dinner album of 1972.

When I first heard it all I could think of was the fact that every other friggin’ dorm room at any given college had that annoying “Desiderata” poster. It became so ubiquitous and cliché that you almost wondered if it was issued to each student.

In retrospect, something such as the Desiderata can serve to cause smug, entitled, 18-year-old college freshman to be even more smug and entitled. Probably more fitting to give to one as a birthday or Christmas gift in that first year after college when still seeking gainful employment – to the one who is heading into their final week of unemployment benefits and getting ready to accept the job paying half of what the former paid – or to the soldier coming home from war.

For the smug, entitled, 18-year-old college freshman – The Deteriorata is much more appropriate:

(National Lampoon)

(You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. Deteriorata, Deteriorata)

Go placidly amidst the noise and waste, and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep. Rotate your tires. Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself; and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys. Know what to kiss – and when. Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do. Wherever possible, put people on hold. Be comforted, that in the face of all irridity and disillusionment, and despite the changing fortunes of time, there is always a big future in computer maintenance.

(You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back.)

Remember the Pueblo. Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate. Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI. Exercise caution in your daily affairs, especially with those persons closest to you… That lemon on your left, for instance. Be assured that a walk through the seas of most souls would scarcely get your feet wet. Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face. Gracefully surrender the things of youth: the birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan – and let not the sands of time get in your lunch. Hire people with hooks. For a good time, call 606-4311, ask for Ken. Take heart in the deepening gloom that your dog is finally getting enough cheese. And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot, it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

(You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back.)

Therefore, make peace with your god, whatever you perceive him to be: hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin. With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal, the world continues to deteriorate. GIVE UP!

(You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. Whether you can hear it or not, The universe is laughing behind your back.)

Nice way to fight back against the TSA in a Passive-aggressive Manner

nerdodamus — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 11:45:32 +0000

http://www.aolnews.com/weird-news/article/new-clothing-line-reminds-tsa-of-the-4th-amendment/19742408

Thoughts on Faith and Country

nerdodamus — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 20:27:20 +0000

“Faith means not wanting to know what is true.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

“Faith does not give you the answers, it just stops you asking the questions.” — Frater Ravus

“Have you ever noticed that if a rapper or a rocker writes a song that mentions a girl’s hot ass they’re destroying America’s youth but if a cowboy in an American flag shirt and a ten gallon hat writes a song about a honky tonk badonkadonk it’s all good clean family fun?” — Steve Quinney

“An apology for the devil: it must be remembered that we have heard only one side of the case; God has written all the books.”— Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

‎”We have a President… who doesn’t appear to believe that America is the greatest earthly force for good the world has ever known. Obama [said], ‘I believe in American exceptionalism, just as I suspect that
the Brits believe in British exceptionalism…’ Amazing. I think this statement speaks volumes about his world …view.” — Sarah Palin [NOTE: Yes, Sarah. He is intelligent. You are an idiot.]

“I hope we shall crush in its birth the aristocracy of
our monied corporations which dare already to challenge our government to a trial by strength, and bid defiance to the laws of our country.” — Thomas Jefferson

“The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.” Benjamin Franklin

“I’m not afraid of God, I’m afraid of the people who made him.” — Unknown

‎”Faith is a set of training wheels which attach to the bicycle that is life. I can’t really blame people for needing those training wheels; when they start to want to modify MY vehicle, however, I get real testy.”—Sandy
Diersing

‎”The trouble ain’t that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain’t distributed right.” – Mark Twain

“There is something feeble and a little contemptible about a man who cannot face the perils of life without the help of comfortable myths. Almost inevitably some part of him is aware that they are myths, but he dare not face this thought. Moreover, since he is aware, however dimly, that
…his opinions are not rational, he becomes furious when they are disputed.” – Bertrand Russell

‎”..Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,The blood dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned; The Best lack all conviction, while the Worst are full of passionate intensity…” – Yeats,excerpt from “The Second Coming”

“…now… in our … day, we hear a Pope saying slave trading is wrong, and see him sending an expedition to Africa to stop it. The texts remain; it is the practice that has changed. Why? Because the world has corrected the Bible. The Church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of the process…ion—and take the credit of the correction. As she will presently do in this instance.”

“[Christians] pray for the return of their savior so that he may deliver them from this horrible, dangerous place and rapture them up into the safety of his loving embrace. What chance do we have of saving this world, when the largest segment of our society just can’t wait to leave
the world behind?” — Keith John…son, “Psychopaths United for Israel”

“Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it, you’d have good people doing good things and evil people doing bad things, but for good people to do bad things, it takes religion.” — Steven Weinberg

‎”God doesn’t exist. To claim that he does is extremely offensive to those of us who passionately believe otherwise. It’s a grave insult to our most deeply cherished beliefs, an assault on the very core of our being, no less, and a violation therefore of our human rights.” -Pat Condell [borrowed from Howard Replogle]

“Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.”
– Douglas Adams, from Last Chance To See

Church Office Failed to Act on Abuse Scandal

nerdodamus — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 17:35:39 +0000

I wonder if the Pope travels to certain contries that outlaw racketeering and cover-ups (i.e. The UK and of course, US!!!) would he be charged and arrested? Shouldn’t he be? Also – is it me but did he not he looked even creepier when younger?

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/02/world/europe/02pope.html?_r=2

Poor Gary

nerdodamus — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 21:02:44 +0000

Maybe Gary was wise making his former manager his executor. Between his ex-wife and his parents (One is a cold seaword and the others stole all his money) who could blame him? Too bad he forgot to change his power of attorney for medical decisions. That whole scenario is suspect.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/06/05/gary-coleman-burial-fight-cremated/

The ex-wife is certainly suspect! Cold and calculating:

American Entropy: Definitely not an NRA Member here:

nerdodamus — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 20:00:39 +0000

Natural Selection again at work!

http://www.komonews.com/news/95276669.html#idc-container