Month: December 2009

This Year’s Holiday Miracle (One that will yield hope for us all . . .)

This holiday season, I actually experienced a lot of peace. We hear that a lot around this time of year. But do we actually get it? I gave myself some peace this holiday season. And before you all pass judgment, get worried, and/or feel sorry for me – ask yourself how much peace you had over the holidays this year.

However you define what is peaceful is up to you. For me, a peaceful holiday was not hearing one or more of the following:

Is this all I get?
I can’t believe you voted for that guy!
Will you *please* just talk to my mother?
I’d like to talk to you about this great investment opportunity.
Sure, I’ll lay off the credit card. What will *you* tell the kids?
I can’t believe you sat there and fell asleep on the couch!
S/He’s on the phone and she’s threatening not to come. Can you please talk her down?
Are you *trying* to ruin Christmas?
How can you possibly have voted for that guy! You just *threw* your vote away.
So I hear you work on computers? I’ve got this issue with . . .
Someone’s being a little anti-social!
I think you’ve had enough.
Will you *please* try to be more festive?
Well personally, I think he is doing a pretty good job of protecting the country.
I think I’ve had enough.
They’ll be here in five minutes. Please hide the alcohol!!!
Must you call attention to my sister’s hairstyle? She’s self-conscience enough as it is.
That was supposed to be for the guests!
Please don’t bring up the discussion of her around him this year!
I don’t care if it’s Christmas, there is no way in hell I am doing that!
Why aren’t you playing with the kids?
Are you going to play with the kids all day or are you going to help me?
Merry Christmas, I’m Pregnant!
Why are you checking email? It’s the holidays!!
———-

Now ask yourself this: Did any of you get through the holidays without hearing any of the above?

For those of you interested in wanting to know how I achieved that peace, feel free to inquire off-line.

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Time for More Security Theater?

First of all, I am thrilled that no one was hurt (except the idiot terrorist.) I am not surprised screening failed and it took passengers to subdue him (although a gunshot from an armored El-Al guard would have been more efficient.) My main concern is this: Last time it was a shoe-bomber – we then had to take off shoes… for screening. Since this guy was a pants bomber – do we have to take those off now? If you follow the logic of the TSA we do.

I am thinking, hmmmm – I hope the next terrorist gets caught with one in her bra!

http://apnews.myway.com/article/20091226/D9CR18JO0.html

The 3 Wolf Moon Shirt Continues to Bring Me Fortune . . .

Ah, the Mighty, Powerful 3 Wolf Moon Shirt. Has helped me to attract massive hot female friends on Facebook.

I now have has four words of advice for men out there going up against female divorce attorneys: “Three Wolf Moon Shirt.”

The Power of the 3 Wolf Moon Shirt is intense.  So much so that the shirt now comes with a warning label:

There are now even pajamas:

 http://www.neatorama.com/2009/12/06/three-wolf-moon-pajamas/

They even come with a trap door so you do not have to take them off.

Channeling Nipsey Russell

Nerdodamus sez: Money, Power, and Fame, trumps all kinds of game! Hey, I made a rhyme, thats cool! Bring on Cornell West and Sharpton!

Nerdodamus is ante-ing up that Bill Clinton is giving Tiger a big “thumbs up.” Oh dear, I am hitting Nipsey Russell territory now . . .

It will cost Tiger 300 million to get himself free. I guess like Santa, he should have stopped with three. ALL HAIL NIPSEY!!! ALL HAIL NIPSEY!!!!

The Prophet Himself . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OHDEtSUGCuc

And one final one:

“The opposite of ‘pro’ is ‘con’ This fact is clearly seen – but if ‘progress’ means move forward What does ‘Congress’ mean?” – Nipsey