and Relationships

This Year’s Holiday Miracle (One that will yield hope for us all . . .)


This holiday season, I actually experienced a lot of peace. We hear that a lot around this time of year. But do we actually get it? I gave myself some peace this holiday season. And before you all pass judgment, get worried, and/or feel sorry for me – ask yourself how much peace you had over the holidays this year.

However you define what is peaceful is up to you. For me, a peaceful holiday was not hearing one or more of the following:

Is this all I get?
I can’t believe you voted for that guy!
Will you *please* just talk to my mother?
I’d like to talk to you about this great investment opportunity.
Sure, I’ll lay off the credit card. What will *you* tell the kids?
I can’t believe you sat there and fell asleep on the couch!
S/He’s on the phone and she’s threatening not to come. Can you please talk her down?
Are you *trying* to ruin Christmas?
How can you possibly have voted for that guy! You just *threw* your vote away.
So I hear you work on computers? I’ve got this issue with . . .
Someone’s being a little anti-social!
I think you’ve had enough.
Will you *please* try to be more festive?
Well personally, I think he is doing a pretty good job of protecting the country.
I think I’ve had enough.
They’ll be here in five minutes. Please hide the alcohol!!!
Must you call attention to my sister’s hairstyle? She’s self-conscience enough as it is.
That was supposed to be for the guests!
Please don’t bring up the discussion of her around him this year!
I don’t care if it’s Christmas, there is no way in hell I am doing that!
Why aren’t you playing with the kids?
Are you going to play with the kids all day or are you going to help me?
Merry Christmas, I’m Pregnant!
Why are you checking email? It’s the holidays!!
———-

Now ask yourself this: Did any of you get through the holidays without hearing any of the above?

For those of you interested in wanting to know how I achieved that peace, feel free to inquire off-line.

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Tiger Woods


Tiger Woods Slow-Jam Remix:

Tiger now has 15 women coming forward. I guess low score doesn’t win in this game. Is it an 18 “ho” game? I’m thinking now I maybe slept with Tiger??? Let’s call Harvey at TMZ!!

In Defense of the “Bro-mance”


The following is a rant –a- response to this stupid article. Read the article first and then read my point-by-point response with a male perspective. Be advised of this before reading.

This post is meant to defend what is now called a “bro-mance.” It used to be referred to as a guy having a buddy.

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articletkt.aspx?cp-documentid=19996811

1. He has more nicknames for his best guy friend than for you.

RESPONSE: What is the significance of keeping score on petty items such as this? I am sure if the opposite were true (he had more nicknames for you than his friend) THE OTHER GUY WOULD NOT CARE or for that matter, probably even notice. Why? It is insignificant. Bear in mind he could likely know the guy a lot longer and his friendship with his bro has probably lasted longer than many relationships with women and will likely last longer than the one he is currently in -especially if she is keeping score on the number of nicknames.

2. When you suggest a double date, he says, “Great, you go out with Suzy, and Bill and I will catch the game.”

RESPONSE: Let’s get real. Double-dates are for the women, not for the men. Men rarely have fun on these things and if the two guys get along and act the way they would had the women not been there, the woman would be appalled and embarrassed. So let’s just make it enjoyable for everyone. Let the ladies go out and let the guys stay home! We don’t want to dress up in the homogenized golfer outfit you have picked out for us to wear.

3. He went to see I Love You, Man … twice. And cried.

RESPONSE: And this is a problem because . . . ? I guess a man crying in a movie is only acceptable if it is a chick flick? I suppose women would have a problem with a guy crying at the end of the first “Rocky” movie too? That reminds me, I have not seen it in a while. Think I’ll pop that in tonight. ALRIGHT ROCKY!!!! YO ADRIAN!!! WE DID IT BABY!!!

4. They have at least two almost-identical outfits.

RESPONSE: Correct. When two guys wear the exact same thing, they marvel at each other’s excellent taste in apparel. We do not throw fits and cause scenes and create drama because we happen to be wearing the same thing.

5. During your wedding, his pal dragged you aside and said, “Take good care of him for me, okay?”

RESPONSE: Deal with it. You are lucky he is not taking the groom aside and saying “DUDE, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? GET OUT! GET OUT NOW! I CAN DRIVE US FAR AWAY FROM HERE! YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO THROUGH WITH THIS!!!”

6. He spends more time getting ready for his bros’ night out than for your Friday night date.

RESPONSE: Yes. He wants to look good. Just like you want to look good when you tart yourselves up and go out on your “ladies night out” binges. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander. When’s the last time you dressed up for him that way on a date? Hmmmm??

7. They have an anthem, be it from Journey or Jay-Z, that they famously dub “our song.”

RESPONSE: “Just a small town girl! Living in a looonely woooorld! She took the midnight train going anywhere . . . .”

8. They take 10 minutes to tell the “hilarious” story about the first day they met (again).

RESPONSE: Right, and when we have figured out how in the hell we got baited and switched by you . . . Oh wait. Now we remember. But it is so depressing to think about since you don’t do those things anymore.

9. You finally earn enough airline miles for the anniversary trip you’ve been dreaming of, and he says, “Cool! Dave and I can go to Vegas!”

RESPONSE: Did you tell him that you were planning to do this? Probably not. You see, when you spring something like this on a guy and he is going to use this as an opportunity to do something that will not cost him as much money as an anniversary trip with you is already going to cost. What you do not spend on airline tickets you will more than likely make up the difference and more on buying crap and going to see Siegfried and . . . well Siegfried. This was your agenda, remember. You assumed he would have either no independent thought or would read your mind and know exactly what to say.

10. He answers his buddy’s call … while you and he are getting romantic together.

RESPONSE: Well . . . I guess what is currently happening is not as exciting as him getting the call. Maybe the problem is with you!