The key is to optimize and reduce the amount of unnecessary weight.
1.) Carry bags with rollers. if you have to check bags, limit it to one. if you are too cheap to check your bag, you better make sure you bought priority boarding or else you will be holding everybody else up. To all of you assholes who think you are clever by cheaping out on the 25$ checked bag fee by doing the “oops – I did not know it would fit – so Ill have to get it gate checked for free – never mind I am checking three of them and I am holding up the flight” – GUESS WHAT – Soon, they will be asking for your boarding pass, scanning it, and retroactively billing you! GOOD! All praises be to the grumpy cat! Besides, if you fly the same airline and build status, checked bag fees are usually waived.
2.) Carry singles. 3-4 individual tips of 1 dollar each show that you are considerate and appreciate good work.
3.) Use one of those old-man pill containers to contain your vitamins and other pills.
4.) Order travel sizes of toiletries in bulk. You can do this on Amazon.
5.) Carry your liquor in plastic flasks (covered in plastics bags in case of leakage.) Hotel bars get expensive.
6.) Order salads at least once a day and try to eat a serving of broccolli or asparagus. No need to be self-conscious. That hotel bathroom is yours for the violating.
7.) Do some form of exercise every day. Even if it is just walking on a treadmill. Most hotels have treadmills. Don’t choose hotels without fitness centers.
8.) Become a rewards/points/miles whore. Nothing beats free travel.
9.) Pay with a credit card that gives points or miles. For example, AMEX allows you to convert points to hotel/airline miles as well.
10.) Dont spend expense accounts on breakfast or coffee. Too many free options out there. Save it for dinner. On second thought, in-room coffee is usally horrible.
11.) Develop brand loyalty. You build up status that way and when you do that, the upgrades will come.
12.) Don’t ever buy a used rental car. Rember how shitty you treated the last car you rented? Exactly.
13.) Buy a monthly Internet plan if you fly more than 3 times a month.
14.) Don’t live near a small airport. If you do, it is worth the drive to a major airport. If that is too far away and you plan to travel for your job, move. When you are a millionaire and are flying NetJets, you can move back to the sticks.
15.) A long car drive can be very refreshing and reflective. Take one of these every now and then.
16.) If you have children, put them on a plane as soon as possible. I’ve yet to know anyone who has flown at least 20 times before their 18th birthday to have turned out bad. I am amazed at how quickly my children got used to traveling. Those misbehaving children of the casual traveler – blame their parents – who I am sure are also misbehaving.
17.) Noise canceling headphones make the baby noise go away.
18.) Exit rows are poor person’s first class. Leverage seatguru.com to find those seats with the mini-aisle on the exit row.
19.) All airline coffee sucks. There is a Starbucks or a Dunkin Donut’s in every airport. Get coffee there.
20.) Stop buying books in newstands. Get an e-reader.
20.) Have a cache at the ready of a nice montage/slide show of airline crash disaster photos on your laptop. That way, when that nosy f*ck, or annoying lady next to you keeps leaning over your shoulder, well . . . ALT-TAB to this and you will no longer have any trouble.
21.) Buy and bring your own GPS. Update it frequently. Never accept one in your auto rental.
22.) When you discover you still have a 200$ Marriott Gift Card in your travel wallet, it is OK to break out in Donna Fargo’s “Happiest Girl in the Whole USA.” You are not weird. It is a worthy moment of celebration. Even if you are male.